She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
