He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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