Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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