nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
