Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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