Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
