you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
