i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My vagina just recognized that song.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Randomize
