he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
