He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
