Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Bring me that man meat
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
