insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
