i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
