don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
