all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
