): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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