Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
