It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
