next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
