GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
