I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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