I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
