This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
