can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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