I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
