i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
