i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
