I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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