i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
