I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
