Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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