the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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