I'm so fucking centered right now
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This is classic penis vs brain.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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