ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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