My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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