Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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