what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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