okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
