Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
