Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
