i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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