Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
