We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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