What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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