He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
