she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
