Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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