I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
