I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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