Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
