4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
