We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
